Male Sexual Problems - and what to do about them!
Welcome to a discussion of male sexual problems and what you can do about them! Our experienced sexual therapists summarize the principle points of each of the three major male sexual dysfunctions and offer suggestions about how you can treat these conditions yourself at home. These three major sexual dysfunctions for men are:
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A Curious Case Of Coming Too Soon!
It looks like men are not the only ones who can climax too soon. The latest research paper shows a sizeable percentage of women also experience premature orgasm.
The research, a survey of Portuguese women, found that about 40% occasionally reach a peak of sexual pleasure faster than they want to and about 3% have a chronic problem, occurring over and over again despite their best intentions.
These women have a real problem, says study researcher Serafim Carvalho, who reckons it might well represent as serious and ultimately distressing a problem as yeast infection or cyclical vulvovaginitis.
The depressing experience of premature ejaculation in men can be treated effectively and quickly with an online program called Ejaculation By Command. It explains, for men who want to last longer - the hows and whys of PE control - you can read all about it here.
I have seen over the years how much male sexual dysfunction comes from the fact that men are not brought up to be fully in their true male power with women. This comes in large part from the dearth of male initiation rituals and rites of passage in our society.
One of the most effective ways in which men and women can make up for this deficiency in knowledge is to learn about relationships from peer educators, counselors and therapists. So I suggest that you could turn to Mike Fiore and Claire Casey, who stand first among equals in the field of human sexual information programs. For example, check out Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever - a relationship advice for women program which you can find here.
Female sexual dysfunction has never received the same attention as its male counterpart, which reflects the misogyny of the medical profession, and early orgasm as a phenomenon in women is particularly neglected.
There are, apparently, only a few extremely ambiguous references in popular literature and the occasional anecdotal report in clinical textbooks.
But whereas premature ejaculation in men is a well-known, and troublesome, and well-recognized sexual dysfunction all-too-often listed in the psychiatrist's manual, there is no documented category for early orgasm in women in the DSM IV.
Carvalho and his colleagues got their information from a questionnaire they sent out to a widespread and general sample of Portuguese women in the age range of between young adulthood (18) and early middle age (45).
The questionnaire particularly these sexually active women about premature orgasm, how often they had experienced such a response to stimulation during sexual interaction with their partners, and more specifically whether the women ever experienced loss of control over orgasmic timing, and whether they or their partners felt dissatisfaction or distress as a result of this peculiarity of their sexual relationship.
Men often experience retarded ejaculation, of course, by contrast to these highly orgasmic women. There was a 60% response rate, or 510 women, of whom 40% had experienced an orgasm earlier than they wanted at least once in their lives.
I would ask if that represents anything other than normal human behavior?
Another 14% recounted more frequent premature orgasms, and this group, Carvalho told LiveScience, are probably in need of clinical attention. For this group I would ask why this might be so?
There were 3.3% of respondents who met the criteria for having a female sexual dysfunction due to their tendency to premature orgasm.
Carvalho writes that at one extreme are women who have complete control over orgasm, and at the other end is a group of sexually unfulfilled women who report having a lack of control over the moment of climax, a peak of arousal which occurs far too early during intercourse.
And - presumably because they cannot have another orgasm thereafter - this leads to personal or relationship distress.
One woman described her problem as being similar to what a man experiences in the case of premature ejaculation or delayed ejaculation, the condition where a man cannot ejaculate during sex.
She complains of finishing very quickly, while her boyfriend doesn’t get a chance to get the sexual pleasure which they both know he would from prolonged intercourse, and it really annoys her.
She said that once she has reached orgasm, it is uncomfortable to continue, the mood changes and her partner misses out, which makes her feel bad.
Certainly, discomfort during sex can be a major problem, resulting from issues as diverse as lack of natural female lubrication and arthritis or gout. As far as I am concerned, all these problems are easily remedies if you are able to find the correct solutions. For example, gout remedies are available here.
And, as if we didn't already know, he also states that while premature orgasms may be stressful, inability to orgasm is a more common problem.
A recent study of American women found that problems reaching orgasm is the most common sexual complaint, with 54% of the 18 to 30 year-old group reporting this problem.
Of course, this problem is not just limited to women - men have orgasmic difficulty as well. Indeed, male anorgasmia, also called delayed ejaculation, is found in about 10 or 12% of the male population.
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