Male Sexual Problems -
- and what to do
Welcome to a discussion of male sexual
problems and what you can do about them!
Our experienced sexual therapists
summarize the principle points of each of the three major male sexual
dysfunctions and offer suggestions about how you can treat these
conditions yourself at home.
The three major sexual dysfunctions
for men are premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and delayed
[ Introduction ] [ Delayed Ejaculation Main Page ] [ Premature Ejaculation Main Page ] [ Erectile Dysfunction Main Page ] [ Sexual Techniques ] [ Manifestation & Sexual Health ] [ Manifestation - the gentle art of getting what you want ]
An email received by us: "I am 23 and have just got engaged to a
wonderful girl. We make love on average twice during the week and two or
three times over the week-end.
It's a marvelous experience for me, or at
least it would be absolutely marvelous but for one thing. I ejaculate too
quickly, so that I am not able to help my girlfriend achieve orgasm during
Read more here
Premature Ejaculation Control
In delayed or retarded ejaculation, no
matter how long the man thrusts in the vagina or has his penis stimulated
in any other way by a partner he cannot reach orgasm and ejaculation. If
he masturbates himself he can usually ejaculate within a minute or two.
Read more here
Delayed Ejaculation and Male
The greatest sexual fear of the majority of men, if
not all, is losing the ability to have an erection, for we men judge our
manhood by our ability to satisfy our partners sexually when making love.
While the failure to enjoy orgasm through
sex or masturbation is bad enough, the failure to satisfy one's partner,
which is a great slur on one's self-image as a man, is devastating.
Read more here
Obesity and Sex
You know, there's nothing more destructive
to a good sex life than being overweight. Well, of course that's an
exaggeration because if a guy can't get it up (or ejaculates before he
gets into his partner), then a couple don;t even have much of a sex life
to even consider.
But among all the problems that can affect
sex, being obese is a pretty serious one. Morbidly obese people are in
fact 25 times more likely to report problems with their sex life, as
webmd.com, than normal weight people.
And it turns out this is a much greater
problem than anybody expected before the research had been conducted.
Martin Binks, a psychologist at the Duke
University Medical Center, makes the observation that this is a difficult
topic for anyone to talk about. And so it should be too - it's shrouded in
shame. You see, being overweight isn't just physical issue, it's a deeply
There are all kinds of reasons why people
are overweight, including a desire to protect themselves from
psychological wounds, a self soothing behavior, our fundamental lack of
self appreciation and good self-image, and so on.
You can imagine that none of these issues
are going to help somebody have a good quality of sex life.
And you would be right: 920 obese men and
women, seeking treatment for their obesity, completed questionnaires about
very different aspects of their sexuality – how much they enjoyed sex, how
much desire they had, what difficulties they had, and how much they
avoided sexual encounters.
65% of people in the treatment group had
significant sexual problems, but only 5% of normal weight people reported
These problems were mostly about desiring
sex (52%), closely followed by performance problems (43%) and avoidance of
sex (42%). This compares with only 2% of the population of the normal
weight group who had functional problems, and 3% who avoided sex.
Needless to say, in a situation like this
you not going to enjoy sex very much – and it's absolutely true: there
is 10 times less enjoyment of sex among obese people than there is among
people whose weight is normal.
Now whether you feel sympathy or not for
grossly obese people or morbidly obese people, the truth is that they
deserve compassion when they're out in the world, because they become
easily defined by their weight due to societal prejudice.
And of course, as is clearly obvious, simply
losing weight – for example by using a diet like the
Venus Factor – may not
be the answer to their perceptual problems, because the fundamental cause
of gross obesity is really around body image and self-esteem.
The good thing, I suppose, is that it's
being addressed at last, and that people who are obese can work on solving
their sexual problems, at least by discussing them with people in a
You see, even the opening out of a
discussion can be enormously helpful, because it promotes a more open
attitude to both obesity and sexual difficulties.
At the end of the day, however, the fact
remains that morbidly obese people need to develop an attitude to sex and
life in general which is both more self affirming, and more powerful -
that is to say, more powerful in the sense of the person concerned moving
to take greater control of their own life.
Email: rodmphillips @ yahoo.com (remove the
spaces when emailing)